Thursday, July 19, 2012

It's Not The Most Charming Thing She Does

So, you know how I brag on Maggie a lot? How she's the World's Most Perfect Baby, and how she's a great nurser, and a great sleeper, and so darn chillaxed, and just as cute as a friggin' button?

Oh, you've noticed?

Sorry, I can't help it. I just really like her.


There is this one thing that Maggie does. And is decidedly NOT cute, NOT perfect, NOT great, NOT sweet, and NOT Maggie-like at all. And yet, defying all laws of perfect-baby-girl-physics, she continues to do this NOT awesome thing anyway.

Maggie holds her poop. Routinely, she does not poop for three or four days, and then lets it alllllll go at once.

There was once a time when I could honestly claim that I had NEVER had a poop blow-out when my kids were in a cloth diaper.

That time is past. Soooooooo verrrrrrry PAST.

And, in defense of my cloth diapers, seriously guys, plastic sheeting and a roll of duct tape couldn't prevent one of these blow outs. THEY ARE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.

And, that's not even the worst part. Are you ready for the worst part?

This is the worst part:

Every day, I try to give Maggie 20 minutes or so of diaper-free time. Both my kids have super-sensitive skin, and are prone to rashes, and so a few minutes every day of air-drying their booties every day really helps prevent issues. I just take off her diaper and let her play with her toys on a blanket for a few minutes most days.

You see where this is going right?

SHE KEEPS POOPING DURING DIAPER-FREE TIME. It's like she's waiting to feel the breeze of fresh air on her tush before she'll let it rip. It's UNBELEIVEABLE. She's done it like 4 times in a row now, which means that for over 2 weeks, I have not changed a single poopy diaper. Not one! HOWEVER, I have had to clean up the gory aftermath of her releasing 4 days worth of poop on her blanket, and then rolling around in it, and possibly tossing in a few toys for good measure before I get to the scene of the crime.

We're at the point now, where I would LOVE a poopy diaper from her. I LONG for a good blow-out! But, for the love, NO MORE POOPING WITHOUT YOUR DIAPER ON, MARGARET.

Maggie's a real winner of a baby most of the time, guys. But this? Well, let's just say that it's NOT the most charming thing she does.

The End.


  1. Emmett only pooped every 10-14 days, so that was awese. Except that every time it was a blow-out, no matter what diaper he was wearing. No cloth, no sposie, no combination thereof (yes, I tried a sposie with a cover on the day I knew he was going to poop) could contain it. So I feeeeeel your pain.

  2. AAAUUUGGGHHH!!! no, ma'am Margaret!!
    Carrie Adams told me that Ethan only pooped once a week. I change 2-3 poopy diapers a day, and one a week (even if it was a blowout, which, I agree, we've NEVER had wearing cloth) sounds better than that.
    But pooping during no-diaper time? No ma'am!

  3. haha oh man, can't wait til parenthood. you should get one of those plastic baby pools and stick her in there during diaper-free time!