Alternate Title: What I WOULD have posted, if I had posted yesterday or the day before.
Alternate Title: Hi little blog! Yes, I missed you too. For two WHOLE non-weekend days. Let's never let it happen again, shall we?
Poor Maggie has been sick for the past three days. :( I know, I know. Let's all have a collective moment of "Awwwwww, poor baby girl!"
After Monday's post, the fever turned to more fever, which turned to vomiting, which turned to over 8 hours of not being able to keep ANYTHING down, which turned to a torturous night in which I nursed her for 2-3 minutes every 30-60 minutes just trying to keep her hydrated, which, duh, led to a trip to the pediatrician the next day to have her white blood cell count checked, because, bad virus? Maybe. Mystery Baby Infection With Terrible Awful Consequences? PROBABLY MOST LIKELY THAT IS WHAT THIS IS.
Aaaaaaand then her fever broke while we were at the pediatrician. Because, OF COURSE IT DID. OF COURSE.
These are the rules of parenting. As SOON as you get to the doctor, everyone WILL be fine.
(Other rules of parenting, you should know:
As soon as you sit down to eat, your kid will need water/napkin/fork/rainbows/unicorn/ranch dressing RIGHT NOW.
As soon as you pull out of the driveway, your kid will need to pee. RIGHT NOW.
As soon as you put a nice outfit on her, your baby will blow out her diaper.
As soon as you start making out with your husband, someone WILL wake up.
Because, OF COURSE THEY WILL. #$%&^*#@&#)
But, even feverless, she had a terrible time sleeping last night. And I do mean, TERRIBLE. I think her tummy was still hurting. :( Another chorus of poor baby girl? Thank you.
She seems much, much better today. No more fever, eating normally, and, thank the Good Lord Above, napping normally too. Because, seriously, guys, I will die if I don't sleep for at LEAST THREE SUCCESSIVE HOURS tonight. THREE. I'm not even aiming that high.
In other news, I gave Henry a Swedish Fish today for the first time ever. Because I am a sneaky mother, I keep him in the dark about such things for as long as possible. We keep very little snacky or sweet kinds of food in the house, so every time the kid gets a piece of candy, or even some sort of 'normal' (but highly processed!) kid food- like crackers, or chips, or prepackaged cheese sticks, or box mac & cheese, or even pretzels, he goes BONKERS MC GEE with excitement.
He sucked on that Swedish Fish for like, 20 minutes, before I finally was like- Dude. You chew it. CHEW. With your teeth. See? Yes. This is called 'gummy candy.' And there is more to be had in the world. You don't have to nurse that fish until you turn five.
He ignored me and continued licking his fish while repeatedly saying:
"Mommy, I yuv dis fishie! Mommy, dis fishie is so good! Mommy, dis fishie so yummy!!! Mommy, you yike dis fishie??"
Oh, yeah, this just in: apparently I'm "mommy" now.
I've been "mama" for almost 2 and half years, but few weeks ago, he started saying Mommy.
Okay, I can handle that. Brief period of mourning for the baby-boy-that-said-Maaaaaaamaaaaaa (whimper, whimper) but I can handle it. Mommy is cool.
Then, yesterday, he called me Mom.
"Mom! Mom, need more milk."
Mom? Mom?!? MOM??? Seriously??
Okay, fine, you can have more milk, but don't even THINK about asking me to move your curfew back, because you've gotta EARN those kinds of privileges young man. And, go mow the lawn or something. I hear kids your age can, like, DO STUFF for their parents.
Footnote: I just read this post over and laughed out loud at myself. Not because I'm funny, but because, seriously, you can just tell by reading this rambly bunch of paragraphs that I have not slept or had any contact with the outside adult world for DAYS, can't you?? You totally can.