Wednesday, May 11, 2011

An Argument for Neglecting your Children

Or, a less funny, but equally as accurate alternate title: "An Argument for Having Multiple Children, Relatively Close Together in Age"  
Or, possibly, "An Overbearing Mother's Argument for More Free Play Time"

BlogFriends, I believe I have, at some point, outed myself to you as an organizer. A scheduler. A planner.

I just really like predictability.  And control. And, since I am at home all day long (no, really, it's been really important for me to treat my job as... well... a job.  With specific tasks, and routines, and responsibilities.  It helps me to stay on top of things. It helps me feel like a worthwhile human being. It helps me to meet everyone's needs before they morph into disaster-level-I-need-you-right-this-second-screw-those-other-kids-screaming-tantrum-fest needs.

However, recently, I have experienced great results with just forgetting the schedule and ignoring everyone for a little while.  JUST A LITTLE WHILE!!! Don't call Social Services just yet! Hear me out!

We still stick to our schedule/routine for eating meals and snacks and bottles and napping and going potty and changing diapers and going for our walk and having circle time, but occasionally, JUST OCCASIONALLY, I really need to get some crap done.  Whether its folding the laundry, or prepping something for dinner, or clearing out my inbox, or making a phone call, sometimes naptime is just not enough time and I really need 30 extra minutes to wrap a few things up.  And, in the past, when this happened, I would usually set A up with some sort of craft or playdough, and set K and Henry up with some toys and books, and just hope and pray that that would get me 20 minutes or so.

This is no more. Henry walks. K crawls REAL fast. And A, well, she's only 2 (almost 3!!!) so her attention span is still, well, 2 year old sized.

What I'm trying to tell you is that NO ONE  STAYS WHERE I PUT THEM ANYMORE.

But, with this increase in mobility and agency has also come an increased ability to entertain themselves. Especially the three of them together.  Unbelievably, the three of them together. Hilariously, the three of them together.

I have compiled some photo evidence for you so that you can, 1) see what bizarre things they think are fun, and 2) become inspired to neglect your own children and see what they come up with to entertain themselves! Come on, it'll be fun!

Awesome Things To Do When Your Mother/Caregiver is Otherwise Occupied:

Pull all of your blankies out of the blankie box. Commence a giant game of peek-a-boo.

Use the laundry basket as an awesome cage.

Terrorize the cat!
 (Okay, this doesn't really count as neglect, because I WAS out there with them, but I was watering the flower beds, so it kinds counts. Plus, look, THEY MATCH!)

Pull out all of the glass nesting bowls from the cabinet.  See what a great clinky-clanky noise they make when banged together.

Pull out all of the blankets you can find, and commandeer the throw pillows. Make giant bed on living room floor.  Convince babies to let you 'put them to bed.'

Keep an eye on the neighborhood.

See? Apparently, I no longer need to constantly entertain them!  When the book reading/song singing/game playing/block building/mommy-provided entertainment ceases, they just come up with their own stuff to do!

I mean, I still do those things. Just with slightly less frequently. THEY LIKE IT THIS WAY, I SWEAR.

Monday, May 2, 2011

The First Haircut

I've been holding out on you.

In the Easter pics, you may have noticed that Henry was looking a little... cleaner? Neater? A little less.... shaggy, perhaps?

Last week, Annie & I took Henry to get his very first haircut.  It was bittersweet.

I LOVED his floppy, wispy, curly hair!!! But, it was really getting unreasonable. It was always in his face. Something had to give.  So. We did it.


OH MY GOSH, I KNOW!!! It was the BEST baby hair EVER!  

Moment of silence, please.

Okay. So. On the way there, Henry was blissful in all of his shagginess. He did not know what awaited him.
First, we went to Chick-Fil-A, because I will shamelessly use ANY excuse to eat there.  Henry ate SEVEN chicken nuggets because he is a bottomless pit, and then shared a few licks of Annie's ice cream cone.
Then Annie took him to play in the playplace, which he loved.
About 5 seconds after this picture was taken, Henry may or may not have thrown up. Just a little. Maybe the seventh nugget was one too many?

Then we arrived at the baby hair cutter place.  It had a cute name, which I have now forgotten, because motherhood has so seriously crippled my brain cells. No matter.

They were really great. The girl who cut his hair was so sweet, and they fed him animal crackers the whole time to distract him, and he got to sit in these cute little seats shaped like cars.
This isn't so bad!

Or is it...
About halfway through, Henry decided he did not want the strange lady touching his blonde tresses anymore, animal crackers or not!
Please don't think I'm a cruel mother for holding his sweet baby face like that. We were like 3 snips away from being finished. The scissors! They were sharp! He was flailing! I had to! Safety!

Then we went home and he recovered by snuggling with his Papa Earl.
And I promised him he would never, ever, ever have to get his hair cut again, ever, ever, ever.

The first of many motherly lies, I'm sure.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Realizations Come Slowly

Guys. I have something to tell you.

I live with a toddler.

I just... I just REALIZED this.

Just now. Like a minute ago.

A toddler. A walking, jabbering, pointing, fit-throwing, snuggly, squirmy, messy, screaming, toy-tossing TODDLER.

I.... I.... I used to have a baby. A BABY.

What happened?? When?? Where??? HOWWWWWW???

I feel confused.

Send help.

See? A BABY. He used to be a BABY.

(Also, please ignore the date stamp on this photo. In my post-partum haze of joy and narcotics, I did not realize that the date was set incorrectly on my camera. This was actually 2/18/2010. If anyone can tell me how to remove this stamp from ALL of my hospital photos, I would greatly appreciate it. The end.)