SETTING: 11 pm. Rachel is in bed. David is in bed. They are reading. Because they are almost in their thirties, and must behave in a manner befitting their age.
Phone makes text-beepy noise from the other room.
Five seconds of silence.
D: That was your phone.
R: I know.
D: Are you going to get it?
D: What if it's important? What if it's an emergency?
R: Who texts in an emergency?? If it's really important someone would call. Or text you. You're more reliable. Phonewise, at least.
D: in a clearly disapproving tone Alright.
5 seconds of silence.
D: dramatic sigh I'm going to get it. I have to know.
R: smug satisfied smile. she knew he would cave Fine.
D: returns, hands over phone, is clearly, inappropriately jubilant that something exciting may have happened out in the world. Who is it? What'd they say??
R: It's Mary Catherine.
D: OMG, what did she say?? Oh man. I bet she and Dan broke up. Oh, or they're engaged. OH, OR SHE'S PREGNANT!
R: Oh for pete's sake! It is not ANY of those things! I'm totally telling her you thought that, though.
TEXTS: (all exchanged with David peering hopefully over my shoulder.)
MC: Are you awake?
R: what's up?
MC: Can I borrow your Netflix account to watch shows instantly? I'm desperate for some BBC mini-series.
R: OMG, I seriously love you.
R: I don't even want to TELL you what David thought this late-night text was going to be about.
MC: Wait... I have to know what he thought now
R: 1 they broke up 2 they're engaged 3 she's pregnant me: omg david, put your big girl panties on, none of those are going to be true.
MC: HAHAHAHAHA I was really hoping it was something along those lines.
R: You know how much david loves a scandal.
MC: I know, i'll try to increase the scandalization in the future.
R: Thank you. We'd appreciate that. Also, I'm blogging this entire conversation tomorrow because it is so hilarious.
D: feeling a little disappointment and huffy It's not that funny.
Rachel & David go sleep, David dreaming of scandal, Rachel dreaming of BBC mini-series.
Mary Catherine leaves her college house and goes out to create some scandal, therefore fulfilling her proper role as sister/sister-in-law and bearer of future exciting late-night texts.
Maybe next week, I will post some of my texts with my sister Annie. Now, that's where the real scandal is going to be. Ain't no way that girl is watching BBC at 11pm.