Wednesday, March 16, 2011

This Is Why I Love My Sister. And My Husband.

SETTING: 11 pm. Rachel is in bed. David is in bed. They are reading. Because they are almost in their thirties, and must behave in a manner befitting their age.

OPENING SCENE:

Phone makes text-beepy noise from the other room.

Five seconds of silence.

D: That was your phone.
R: I know.
D: Are you going to get it?
R: Nah.
D: What if it's important? What if it's an emergency?
R: Who texts in an emergency?? If it's really important someone would call. Or text you. You're more reliable. Phonewise, at least.
D: in a clearly disapproving tone  Alright.

5 seconds of silence.

D: dramatic sigh  I'm going to get it. I have to know.
R: smug satisfied smile. she knew he would cave  Fine.
D: returns, hands over phone, is clearly, inappropriately jubilant that something exciting may have happened out in the world.  Who is it? What'd they say??
R: It's Mary Catherine.
D: OMG, what did she say?? Oh man. I bet she and Dan broke up. Oh, or they're engaged. OH, OR SHE'S PREGNANT!
R: Oh for pete's sake! It is not ANY of those things! I'm totally telling her you thought that, though.


TEXTS: (all exchanged with David peering hopefully over my shoulder.)
MC: Are you awake?
R: yesssss...
R: what's up?
MC: Can I borrow your Netflix account to watch shows instantly? I'm desperate for some BBC mini-series.
R: OMG, I seriously love you.
R: I don't even want to TELL you what David thought this late-night text was going to be about.
MC: Wait... I have to know what he thought now
R: 1 they broke up 2 they're engaged 3 she's pregnant me: omg david, put your big girl panties on, none of those are going to be true.
MC: HAHAHAHAHA I was really hoping it was something along those lines.
R: You know how much david loves a scandal.
MC: I know, i'll try to increase the scandalization in the future.
R: Thank you. We'd appreciate that. Also, I'm blogging this entire conversation tomorrow because it is so hilarious.

D: feeling a little disappointment and huffy It's not that funny.

CLOSING SCENE:
Rachel & David go sleep, David dreaming of scandal, Rachel dreaming of BBC mini-series.
Mary Catherine leaves her college house and goes out to create some scandal, therefore fulfilling her proper role as sister/sister-in-law and bearer of future exciting late-night texts.


Maybe next week, I will post some of my texts with my sister Annie. Now, that's where the real scandal is going to be. Ain't no way that girl is watching BBC at 11pm.

No comments:

Post a Comment